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| lol nope, im still alive 
well, life has been busy, im graduating from HCC next month, and transfering to towson. And i offically have my apartment, which i am currently in the middle of painting, and moving and could use some assistance  lol i have Boos lol mayb if i get em drunk they'll help me paint
im still working at the tattoo shop, and i can "offically" tattoo now, which happened yesterday, and im starting a nude modeling job down in DC (not that far from towson) an im excited cause i get to run around naked and people wont look at me funny, so thats awesome! yes! lol
well, im off to finish yet another 10 page paper... so if anyone needs someone to talk to call me or im me... i moved to my space as ely, so look me up, an keep in touch cause im the touchy feely type and i miss u guys  | | |
| mmm...  yup im posting again...
well as im sitting here with a gianormous bruise on my leg (thanx to sum friends... whom i might say hav huge butts...  ) im contenplating the meaning of what it is be consided weird or unusal, and what someone has to accomplish to manage to obtain such a title.
after thinking this over, ive realized that its all a mental aspect of the mind... that "normal" just a comformist veiw of what life should be?  what exactly qualifys as being "normal"?
most people would say a tattooing, or nude modeling would fit into this catagory of "unusal" but y? y do people look at those types of jobs as being "weird" and y are they usally looked at in a negitve way, is it because their considered odd jobs, thus in turn qualifying me being weird?
everyones different, so how is it that someone can be picked out of a crowd and descibed as being different, when we're all unique in our own way?
anyway... as for life, its been awesome, i finished my spring semester, and start the summer semester next week... yea im excited *cough* and im actually allowed to tattoo people at the shop, so if anyone wants a tattoo gimme a call... cum on... it'll b fun 
well im off to keep my inanimate friend fred company for a while.... then perhaps take a hot bath, surrounded by candel light... ( i just hope nothing catches on fire this time... )
mmmm... u know, i got stuck in the crevis between my bed and the wall this morning, and i was too lazy too pull myself out... so i just fell asleep again  ...
i just thought i'd share that with u... | | |
| yup, here i am posting again
hmmm... i havn't slept in the past three days, finals are next week, im going to start working at wawa, and on top of all of it... im a dumb lazy procrastinating asshole lol
all in all, i had an awesome week, and i hope i didn't do anything too dumb... i would go into whats going on in my life, and find some deep philosophical way to interpreate it, but... im just too lazy... lol
so, in feeling so accomplished in completing my monthly objective of writing in my journal... i think i'll go take a nap ... and put off writing my paper till tommarrow
mmm... i forgot im going to seattle next thursday for a week... lol (im such a dumbass )
i shall never look at pork and beans the same ever again... lol | | |
| welp, here i am posting... again...
u know i got lost in pennsylvania today for about three hours today... lol and somehow i found myself in shewsberry, at sables.... so after asking for directions... (cause i can't backtrack, due to the fact that im retarded) i was walking out of sables, and was almost hit by a car... this where most people would crap their pants, but i paused waved to the driver thanking him for stopping and not running me over, and continued on my way...
about half an hour later wandering aroung pennsylvania looking for 24, i thought to mysellf... hmm, u know i almost died, then i started thinking.... would i be content with my life if i was to die then, at that moment a sables? just like in meet joe black where he gets hit by a car... (i didn't watch thats scene over and over again, of course not, im not a sadomashicast *cough*)would i have died happy? and u know, i think so...
but should u really need something like that for u to see how u feel about ur life? i guess wat im trying to say is, what can make u happy with yourself?
also i paticipated in an actual date on sunday with a guy my age (yay for me! lol) i had fun mini golfing but the guy creeped me out, it seemed like he just wanted a gf just to say he had one... (what ever happened to wanting to date someone because of who they are anyway?) so i explained to him that he wasn't the type of guy for me, but that i would love to be friends with him...
more news... im moving to baltimore august 2nd, with some friends from college, amanda and her friend cat (i luv them) lol... and im going to towson... which i am personally very excited... (im such a lesbian right now) lol
all in all, its been busy... and i wish i could see more of my friends... so if u ever want to hang out before i leave for baltimore, gimme a call... | | |
| people say that life is complicated... but i think people just make it complicated themselves. Subjects such as love, or "relationships" are the most common. But is it possible thats its mental, thats all this frustration we put ourselves through is just a matter of centering ourselves?
when it comes down to it, y do we let ourselves get so upset? yes, sometimes its difficult, but life goes on... is life really as complicated as we make it out to b?
and wat if all that time that we spent being upset about someone was wasted...
i'll b the first one to admit, i hav problems with relationships. y? because of wat happened in the past? no, truth is my only fear is hurting someone... i'd rather get hurt a thousand times over before i could even hav the chance to hurt someoneelse, because ive seen wat it does to people... im afraid of someone loving me for who i am, but could anyone really love a "dumb lil puppy" anyway? if people were to realize that their feelings are something that they have control over, then does that mean that no one would get hurt? and if thats true, then does dating then become "safe"?
but if thats true, would it be worth it at all? does that mean that love is just a mental thing? i wouldn't know... im afraid of love.
i guess wat im asking u is, would u rather feel safe, and nuetral in a relationship? or truely love someone, and risk everything? | | |
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