lil_midget_ely's Xanga

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 17:26:48 GMT

lol nope, im still alive

well, life has been busy, im graduating from HCC next month, and transfering to towson. And i offically have my apartment, which i am currently in the middle of painting, and moving and could use some assistance lol i have Boos lol mayb if i get em drunk they'll help me paint

im still working at the tattoo shop, and i can "offically" tattoo now, which happened yesterday, and im starting a nude modeling job down in DC (not that far from towson) an im excited cause i get to run around naked and people wont look at me funny, so thats awesome! yes! lol

well, im off to finish yet another 10 page paper... so if anyone needs someone to talk to call me or im me... i moved to my space as ely, so look me up, an keep in touch cause im the touchy feely type and i miss u guys

Monday, May 23, 2005

Mon, 23 May 2005 05:06:31 GMT

mmm... yup im posting again...

well as im sitting here with a gianormous bruise on my leg (thanx to sum friends... whom i might say hav huge butts... ) im contenplating the meaning of what it is be consided weird or unusal, and what someone has to accomplish to manage to obtain such a title.

after thinking this over, ive realized that its all a mental aspect of the mind... that "normal" just a comformist veiw of what life should be? what exactly qualifys as being "normal"?

most people would say a tattooing, or nude modeling would fit into this catagory of "unusal" but y? y do people look at those types of jobs as being "weird" and y are they usally looked at in a negitve way, is it because their considered odd jobs, thus in turn qualifying me being weird?

everyones different, so how is it that someone can be picked out of a crowd and descibed as being different, when we're all unique in our own way?

anyway... as for life, its been awesome, i finished my spring semester, and start the summer semester next week... yea im excited *cough* and im actually allowed to tattoo people at the shop, so if anyone wants a tattoo gimme a call... cum on... it'll b fun

well im off to keep my inanimate friend fred company for a while.... then perhaps take a hot bath, surrounded by candel light... ( i just hope nothing catches on fire this time... )

mmmm... u know, i got stuck in the crevis between my bed and the wall this morning, and i was too lazy too pull myself out... so i just fell asleep again ...

i just thought i'd share that with u...

Monday, May 02, 2005

Mon, 02 May 2005 21:09:04 GMT

yup, here i am posting again

hmmm... i havn't slept in the past three days, finals are next week, im going to start working at wawa, and on top of all of it... im a dumb lazy procrastinating asshole lol

all in all, i had an awesome week, and i hope i didn't do anything too dumb... i would go into whats going on in my life, and find some deep philosophical way to interpreate it, but... im just too lazy... lol

so, in feeling so accomplished in completing my monthly objective of writing in my journal... i think i'll go take a nap ... and put off writing my paper till tommarrow

mmm... i forgot im going to seattle next thursday for a week... lol (im such a dumbass )

i shall never look at pork and beans the same ever again... lol

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:22:39 GMT

welp, here i am posting... again...

u know i got lost in pennsylvania today for about three hours today... lol and somehow i found myself in shewsberry, at sables.... so after asking for directions... (cause i can't backtrack, due to the fact that im retarded) i was walking out of sables, and was almost hit by a car... this where most people would crap their pants, but i paused waved to the driver thanking him for stopping and not running me over, and continued on my way...

about half an hour later wandering aroung pennsylvania looking for 24, i thought to mysellf... hmm, u know i almost died, then i started thinking.... would i be content with my life if i was to die then, at that moment a sables? just like in meet joe black where he gets hit by a car... (i didn't watch thats scene over and over again, of course not, im not a sadomashicast *cough*)would i have died happy? and u know, i think so...

but should u really need something like that for u to see how u feel about ur life? i guess wat im trying to say is, what can make u happy with yourself?

also i paticipated in an actual date on sunday with a guy my age (yay for me! lol) i had fun mini golfing but the guy creeped me out, it seemed like he just wanted a gf just to say he had one... (what ever happened to wanting to date someone because of who they are anyway?) so i explained to him that he wasn't the type of guy for me, but that i would love to be friends with him...

more news... im moving to baltimore august 2nd, with some friends from college, amanda and her friend cat (i luv them) lol... and im going to towson... which i am personally very excited... (im such a lesbian right now) lol

all in all, its been busy... and i wish i could see more of my friends... so if u ever want to hang out before i leave for baltimore, gimme a call...

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 02:18:09 GMT

people say that life is complicated... but i think people just make it complicated themselves. Subjects such as love, or "relationships" are the most common. But is it possible thats its mental, thats all this frustration we put ourselves through is just a matter of centering ourselves?

when it comes down to it, y do we let ourselves get so upset? yes, sometimes its difficult, but life goes on... is life really as complicated as we make it out to b?

and wat if all that time that we spent being upset about someone was wasted...

i'll b the first one to admit, i hav problems with relationships. y? because of wat happened in the past? no, truth is my only fear is hurting someone... i'd rather get hurt a thousand times over before i could even hav the chance to hurt someoneelse, because ive seen wat it does to people... im afraid of someone loving me for who i am, but could anyone really love a "dumb lil puppy" anyway? if people were to realize that their feelings are something that they have control over, then does that mean that no one would get hurt? and if thats true, then does dating then become "safe"?

but if thats true, would it be worth it at all? does that mean that love is just a mental thing? i wouldn't know... im afraid of love.

i guess wat im asking u is, would u rather feel safe, and nuetral in a relationship? or truely love someone, and risk everything?

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:22:09 GMT

"everyone likes santa clause"

my mom said as she was hovered over her little santa minons...

u know... my mom really creeps me out sometimes...

no wonder i don't like christmas...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 04:04:58 GMT

lol srry its late, i couldn't help it...

anyhoo... i had a weird week, yea... my butt still has bruises, im still insecure, and i just spent the last 4 hours painting a mural....

yea... i think i need a nap... or some quality time w/ fred... either way... im happy lol

p.s. am i really that weird?

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 03:41:49 GMT

You scored as Violent. You are violent. To you there is nothing better than a good spank. You like scratching and biting 'cause that's what people are for.

Hot

100%

Violent

100%

Exciting

88%

Wet

75%

Sweet

50%

Awkward

25%

Soft

19%

Shy

What is your sexual style?
created with QuizFarm.com

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 03:35:14 GMT

yup, i remembered to post... aren't u proud ( i'm such a dork) lol

anyhoo... i went line dancing tonight, it was horrible... i got lost for an hour or so, and i had no idea where i was... lol i also realized that my ass is huge, and giggly... and that u should never mix the 2... ever... but at least i got to see some people i havn't seen in a while...

as for life... its been good, im still miss. "tattoo apprentice/ model", and i went on another "date" last tuesday, (with this guy from HCC,) and im still not sure wat i want in someone... (weather its a guy or girl .) but i do know i want someone who i can talk to and can make me laugh... but its hard to find someone, that genuenly likes u for who u r, with all of ur flaws...

my only fear is... is that no matter wat, its bound to end anyway... so why does it even matter?

well... im off to take a long, hot bubble bath (which i am personaly very excited about ) and i hope everyone is doin good.

p.s... amanda ur awesome! and rossi... hows the current llama situation? i miss u guys....

Monday, March 14, 2005

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 01:19:25 GMT

i am such an asshole...

wat exactly is it that fucks people over in relationships anyway? y am i still afraid of getting hurt, is it because i've had only a few bad experiences in the past that im bound to let them effect me for the rest of my life? im tired of people thinking that i sleep around when its not true... it pisses me off when people just judge me without knowing y i do the things i do...

i am a butthole, a big one...

a big... hairy... butthole...

with lopsided boobs...

(i need a hug)